blanket remark.

I feel like my life is like a stack of blankets. I’d like to think that it’s artfully arranged, but, the truth is, one tug and it all falls apart, never to go back quite the same way.

like this pullover you sent to me.

Like all things must, nine years ago, George Harrison passed away. I was fourteen years old and the affect on me was as though I had lost a family member. I realize that this sounds rather silly, but you have to understand that at the time I was majorly, majorly into The Beatles. I still have my collection of books and CDs and albums and artwork and newspaper clippings. So to lose another Beatle was pretty rough.

It didn’t help that I had just sent him a fan letter, either.

But I don’t want this to be a sad entry. I want to share some of my funnier memories relating to George and my early teen Beatlemania.

When I was in middle school (~12 years old), my friends Sarah, Kori and Jessica and I took on the nicknames “John”, “Paul”, “George” and “Ringo”. At the time, I was majorly obsessed with John, so I was John. Sarah (Paul) started drawing little us versions of The Beatles and they were passed out among us in class. It’s pretty much the only part of most of my middle school classes that I remember. Heh. I saved them all.

In high school, I thought it would be a good idea to start a Beatles roleplaying game on Yahoo. It was all kinds of disorganized and cheesy, and I just found it today while thinking of George.

I had a writing notebook for all these little silly stories, inspired by the Fab Four, which I shared with my friends as well. That’s become a sort of time capsule. One of the stories from it became my first fully-staged play, even. I also wrote and illustrated a Beatles/Wizard of Oz parody.

Sometimes trying to remember these little moments and things that made me happy isn’t so easy, but then I get a little trigger like remembering George and it all floods back to me. The Beatles are like a snapshot of a time in my life when I was extremely nerdy, but also happy. That’s why I’m not afraid to share any of it. Yeah, it was silly, but it was also a lot of fun.

Do you have anything like that from your past?

exaggeration and eight percent.

I’ve been reading a lot of Allie Brosh’s outstanding Hyperbole And A Half blog/webcomic lately. By lately, I mean over the past three days. But I haven’t just been reading it a little. I’ve spent literal hours reading a bunch of her posts.

I told you I was prone to obsession.

Well, as I’ve been reading, I’ve realized that I really need to start blogging on here more often. After all, I’ve got this new fantabulous dot com associated with my blog. Why not make use of it? True, I have multiple places where I already post things, but read me out… This could be my place to really delve into things. It’s hard to delve within 140 characters. Trust me, I’ve tried. And I quickly lost about eight followers.

I don’t exactly know what I’ll be divulging or sharing or making up creating for your amusement. I’d gladly welcome any input as long as it is nice and realistic.

Aside from thinking about my blogging habits, I’ve also been wishing that I could draw, particularly on my computer. I’m not the best when it comes to drawing, but on paper I can really focus and control the pen or whatever. On my computer, I’m left with the little track pad and my unruly index fingers. That doesn’t mean I don’t try, though. I try so hard.

I’ve never really been one to color in sketches. It messes up the fabulous detail of the lines. Or something. I don’t know. My last art class was in 3rd grade.

the chair in the woods.

I went outside to film my weekly video for 5 Girls 5 Minutes, the video collaboration that I share with my friends. The day was beautiful, if a bit hot, and the leaves crinkled around me as I walked to the little wooded area behind my condo complex. Today is Rhett McLaughlin‘s birthday, so I wanted to do something special. I don’t go into those woods as much as I should. I’d like to now.

A pair of wooden chairs were sitting beside each other in a small clearing. I sat in one and filmed. Then I sat in it and thought, looking around at all of the thankfully untouched nature that was right there and waiting. Unfortunately, there are cans and bottles near the edges, from lazy people who wouldn’t know what a recycling container looked like if it snuck up on them and punched them in the face.

NaNoWriMo season is starting up again. I think I may go back to this place and this chair. I think I will clean up the cans. And I think I will write there.

It’s what Thoreau would do. And, more importantly, it’s what ten-year-old me would do. Wooded areas were my stomping ground, growing up; where I’d create stories and scenes and moments. My imagination went wild when surrounded by leaves and the soft twitter of birds, and trees too thick to hug but huggable anyway. This place is like a preserved memory. I think I belong there.

“and she had claimed to like it”

work hard and be kind.

It is so hard to put this into words.

The first time I ever saw Conan O’Brien, I was six years old and should clearly have not been awake at such a late hour. At the time, I was mainly focused on loving cats and pretending that I was Todd from Disney’s The Fox & The Hound. I cannot remember why I was allowed to be up so late that night, but I remember my dad telling me to watch for the little white cat on the screen, during Conan’s opening credits.

Conan O’Brien has been a part of my life ever since. That’s not to say that I never missed an episode. It happens with even the best of shows. But he has always been around and I have always loved him. His silliness, his awkwardness, his nerdiness, and his kindness. I have stayed up to watch him whenever possible and there has been no other late night talk show host for me. To me (and no offense to Johnny), he is the king of late night.

During my sophomore year of high school (2002-2003), when I was probably my most awkward ever, Comedy Central would air repeats of Late Night with Conan O’Brien the day after the shows aired on NBC. I loved this year. Every evening, at six o’clock, I would go into my room and watch the show. I even taped a bunch. I have an entire Conan VHS stack in my parents’ house. They’re probably worth a fortune now.

Also during this year, since I was so into Conan and was able to easily see him every day, I started writing Coco quotations (say that, it’s fun) that I especially liked into my daily planner. It was more pressing to me than due dates or homework assignments. That planner is now full of notable Conan O’Brien quotes from the early 2000s.

In French class, we were to make up a comic strip a la Asterix. I made a comic poster of Conan playing for the Boston Red Sox. Sort of a “best day ever” scenario. I think it’s probably the greatest thing I ever made in French class. And my favorite part is that, as I was making it, Neve O’Brien’s birth was announced. I wrote a dedication to her on the back. I’m sentimental that way.

My parents and I went to NYC for my sweet sixteenth birthday with the intention of seeing Conan. We weren’t able to get tickets, so we opted for the next best thing: a tour of NBC Studios in Rockerfeller Center. When I was in his studio, I almost spontaneously combusted. Our tour guide mistakenly said that he was six foot two and I corrected her. “Six foot four, actually.” I literally pushed my glasses up my nose. She smiled at me. Then she said that he was the head of his college’s newspaper, but couldn’t remember which. “The Harvard Lampoon,” I aided/made an ass of myself with. She smiled again. “You should be leading this tour!” That started a running joke with my parents and I. Someday, I was going to be Conan O’Brien’s coffee girl. The page who hands him his coffee cup. Oooh yeeeah.

While in the NBC Experience Store, Dad and I did the little pre-taped, interactive “Desk Drive” with Conan. We look pretty dorky in the video, but it is also a really fun memento. I showed it to my friends for my birthday party later on and one of them thought I’d actually met Conan and ridden his desk. I didn’t want to tell her the truth. So I didn’t.

Only kidding.

Anyway, I have so many fond memories and little mementos that span Conan’s entire late night talk show host career. Little things like magazine clippings to big things like notebooks full of silly stories about him. And I own four Conan shirts. I think it is safe to say that, of all of the things I have loved over the years, and there have been a lot of them… Conan O’Brien has had the greatest impact on my life. He has made me want to give people something to laugh about, and has proven that nice, slightly nerdy people can succeed without having to change who they are.

I finally was privileged to see him, live and in person, in Upper Darby, PA for his “Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour” on June 7th. Several times, thoughout the show, amidst all of the laughing, I had to wipe sentimental tears from my eyes. It was a long time coming, and that, I think, made it three billion times more special for me.

When he first lost his show on NBC, I was furious. I thought I had walked into a horrible reality show or something. The more I read about it in that really fast-paced week of drama, the more angry I got. However, when Conan made his farewell speech on his last episode of The Tonight Show, I took his words to heart. I will not be cynical. I will still be able to see him. The wait till November is tough (and it was so tough to watch him board his tour bus and ride away, knowing that I wouldn’t be seeing him again till then), but it’s only five months. I waited seventeen years to see him live. I can wait five months to see him on my tv again.

And the wait will be worth it.

~Sara

Tags: conan o'brien, nostalgia, sometimes i ramble

“the part that isn’t covered by ‘the most part’ sucks.”

I just spent ten days in Los Angeles followed by nine days in Honolulu, and it taught me more about myself than I could have ever expected. I had never been to Hawaii before, and I spent about 12 hours in L.A. six years ago, so I was sort of set up to be wowed or dazzled by what I would see and experience. But the unexpected part about it was that, more than anything, these places really helped me look at myself differently and be wowed and dazzled by what I found.

From the first moment I set foot in LAX, I was excited. I had never been there. We drove down from Washington state the previous time we had visited, because my family is insane and into long car trips. This year was different and special because I would actually be in the very airport that the people I admired walked through on a weekly (if not daily, sometimes) basis. That’s not to say that I felt like I was walking on holy ground or anything like that, but it is always special to me, to think about who might have been there in the exact spot I’m in before me. Maybe I’m just really, really nerdy.

I’m not going to highlight the whole trip for you. That would be too long for you to have to slog through, and anyway, I’ve got a vlog for that. And this is not a review of Greenberg. This is: I absolutely loved it and I saw it twice — I searched out a theatre and saw it in Hawaii. I took a break from paradise to see it, and I was so happy to do it. So that’s my summation. Don’t worry, you will probably hear about it later, knowing me.

But this is a review of myself, as discovered by seeing Greenberg and the culture I had never properly met before but have known all my life.

Assuming that you know me, at least a little, you’re probably very aware that I love movies. But even the people who are close to me might not realize how much. I have grown up with movies. I sometimes say that I was raised by them, but that sounds kind of sad and makes me seem like Jim Carrey in The Cable Guy — and that reference there relates to my point. There is not a moment in my life that I can think of that has not involved films, which I guess is what comes from being raised by parents who love acting and the cinema.

My father has a home movie of me, sitting with a book in my lap, age two, telling the story of The Wizard of Oz verbatim, because I couldn’t yet read. But it’s not the version in the book. It’s the version starring Judy Garland. I had memorized the dialogue and I’m reciting it, with appropriate voices, for the camera. This home movie foreshadows my life. Much much more than the video where I’m staring, mouth agape, at a late ’80s Chuck E. Cheese, that’s for sure.

When I was in elementary school, in Virginia Beach, my friends and I all had huge back yards. We spent entire afternoons playing in them, which is good. Kids should always play in back yards. But anyway, point: we didn’t play games like house or even tag, though. We played movies. And I was kind of the director/producer… screenwriter… lead actor… set designer… But the other kids got to be in them, too. We reenacted everything from kids movies like The Lion King to The Mask to, shockingly, Rocky Horror Picture Show (Don’t worry. We just sang the songs and danced around.) I always knew who was in the movies and I was very interested in the actors and directors. Many of my friends from back then have asked me if I still love Jim Carrey.

Of course I do. He is one of my first inspirations, after all.

Where am I going with this? Well, when we got to L.A., one of my other early inspirations, Ben Stiller, had a movie opening, Greenberg, and it was only opening in L.A. and New York before opening everywhere else. I was in L.A. This was perfect. So off to the Arclight I went.

I had not expected to be so entranced by a movie theatre. You really have to experience it to understand, but I walked in there, picked out where I wanted to sit, got my ticket early, and just basked in the awesome. There was a display of Ben’s costume and several of the props from the film (a pair of wooden puppets being my favorite) as well as a giant map of all the L.A. locations in the movie that you could go to. My parents did not know where we could go for dinner, and my mom saw the map, so she wisely suggested, hey, why not go to Musso & Frank’s Grille on Sunset?

So we did.

I’ve seen the film’s trailer so many times that the interior of the place was instantly recognizable. I basked in more awesome and kept one of the menus. It’s like a pseudo-prop, sort of. And, while we were in there, my parents seemed to notice the giddy, nerdy excitement I had about going to a movie on opening day, in the official opening theatre, being in a film’s location, knowing about the film ahead of seeing it… And I noticed it too. I caught myself and thought, “You know, most people probably are not this rabidly enthusiastic about movies…”

And instead of doing what I normally do when I realize I’m not like most people — which is thinking, “Oh god, there’s something wrong with me. I am so annoying. I need to shut up.” — I just thought, “I have found my calling, it is not going away, and, you know, I can really make something of it.”

Going back to the Arclight later and sitting there, waiting for the film to begin, I got tears in my eyes as I looked around at the blue curtains, the comfortable chairs, the cup-holders and the 100 or so other people who had gathered to watch the movie with me. There was excitement humming all over the room. I kept looking back at the projector and thanking it for existing.

Laughing at the movie, gasping at the movie, and walking out of it with that crowd of people was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life because that’s what movies are, or at least should be: a shared experience, shared between the director/producer… screenwriter… actors… set designer… etc.

We all get to be the etc.

And someday, I hope to make shared experiences with you, too.

Now, that’s why I love L.A. best. Does that make sense, Tara?

Tags: ben stiller, dreams, greenberg, hollywood, los angeles, movies, noah baumbach, shared experiences

To Do List Of Things To Do

Oh, now you’re saying that I’m redundant! That I repeat myself! That I say things over and over!

PACK
A. 21 outfits.
B. Pajamas.
C. Ukulele.
D. Laptop.
E. Camera.
F. Photo camera.
G. Batteries & chargers.
H. Phone & charger.
I. Glasses & toiletries.

WEAR
A. Stillerstrong headband.
B. Green shirt.
C. Green shoes.
D. …Pants.

ALSO
A. Back-up hard-drive, JIC.
B. Make sure camera’s memory is free.
C. Don’t go insane on the plane.

L.A., stay classy and I’ll see you in two days. B)

Tags: hollywood, to-do list, vacation

do it for the children

Hello, this is your oft-disappearing website owner asking you to give to these two worthy causes, if you can spare the time and the money. Every little bit helps.

Stillerstrong: helping the Haitian School Initiative build temporary schools for kids in Haiti who need to get back in the classroom. Because education is good and school is a safe haven, especially when you’re little and scared.

Snow Evacuation School Supplies: okay, this one doesn’t come with a fancy name, but my dear friend Alex lives in Manassas, VA and the school in which she teaches has major roof damage, so the kids have been temporarily relocated, but they badly need backup supplies since everything is snowed into the building.

xoxo, thanks!
~Sara

Tags: charities, children, haiti, help, school, snow, stillerstrong

the sky looks pissed

I knew this would happen.

I thought of a movie idea. I’m currently writing the novel version, and I’ll be adapting it into a movie script as I go. I already have a cast in mind, and even a soundtrack artist in mind (Ingrid Michaelson). I made a playlist on iTunes for it. 14 songs of hers are PERFECT.

It’d be starring Owen Wilson. And it’s a perfect part for him, even though it’s like nothing he’s ever done before.

The novel version will be posted eventually.

xo,
Sar

Tags: exciting!, ingrid michaelson, movie idea, owen wilson, writing